Cynicism as a Crutch
Today, I discovered someone, online, that embodied what I used to embody. He's arrogant and intelligent, but doesn't use it to really do anything but build up a sense of self-importance. Reading what he writes and how he writes it, it becomes painfully clear that he feels he's the beacon of light in what's otherwise a dull world. His "philosophical" writings are nothing but inane ramblings filled with abstract thoughts that aren't so abstract. It's like looking at my former self, and it can be an eye-opener.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still very much a cynic. However, I use my cynicism as a way to proceed through life with caution. I know what people are capable of, and I know what people are like, but I've stopped seeing people as an evil to the greatest extent. I've accepted that wisdom is more important than intelligence. Learning from one's mistakes is what's important, not avoiding mistakes. I've stopped dwelling on existence and started living my existence. This doesn't mean I've fallen victim of the world's ideals instead of my own, but I've opened myself up to accept that the while the world's ideals are different, they may not ALWAYS be the worst and without reason.
Basically, I've allowed myself to break out of a shell, continue enjoying the simple things in life, and have stopped looking at the world in such a negative light that I see past the beauty and complexity of life. I've allowed myself to just go with the flow and stopped looking at the negatives of every situation. I am not entirely successful, and I feel myself bitching about things that I let happen, but progress has been and is being made. I haven't quite let go of everything that holds me back, but I'm making progress, and that's what matters. As long as I continue to let myself open up to the world, I can only improve.
In other words, self-important cynics need to chill the fuck out. They need to drink some alcohol, listen to music, go out with friends, and allow themselves to forget that the world sucks, if even just for a few hours. Life is well too short to worry about others. Life is too short to think you're superior to everyone else, regardless if it's true or not (hint: it's not). Stop dwelling on the unknown, and accept that it's just that... the unknown. Always seek answers, always be cautious, but don't consume yourself with the unimportant.
If you're, at all, interested in the blog I'm talking about. I'll link you. Head on over yonder: http://tanoposteraro.blogspot.com/2010/02/idealism.html
March 3rd, 2010 - 03:05
this is an encouraging post. I envy you for going past (or attempting to pass) the stage I am stuck in now.
Just two nights ago, I was thinking to myself and ranting within as to why I turned out so damn curious about everything. I wished I had been dumb and I wished I was so caught up in the rat race so I wouldn't be asking the big questions of our existence and what not .
And I have been thinking very hard about overcoming this. I have restarted, for example, my old hobby of painting models, plan to have a beer, try a smoke, and relearning how to make websites…just to venture out. I want to break my self-important nihilistic attitude. I am getting sick of seeing everything through my cynical glasses.
It's very challenging though…I try to enjoy the moment and my cynicism comes right back out in force and I once again feel like "oh what the fuck purpose does this serve"…
But I remain hopeful. Now that I have realized what needs to be done, I feel c bit confident but it's going to be a very steep climb…atleast for me.